Dealing with crisis

It's been a long while since I blogged, for various reasons, but I don't owe an explanation to anyone out there. I took to blogging inspired after reading some really wonderful blogs and am back at it for the same reason.

Well as always this blog is just a representation of my thought process........
It's been a couple of months in US of the A and all of sudden I have started thinking about what I want out of my life, well you know, defining goals and all that stuff. As a friend had suggested the QLC has come to haunt me again!!!!

First I want to start of by tracing my past especially the last 3 yrs of my life.

In September 2005, with a hint of hesitation I walked into the Infosys Mysore campus. Well at that point I was aiming at making a mark in whatever I do........be it software! You can call it the confidence (or over confidence) in my abilities. Through the first half of training I struggled, C was a monster I just couldn't handle. I struggled endlessly with the nuances of the "if's" and "for's" it had to offer. But you know, there are always good friends to bail you out.

I started enjoying life at Mysore, used all facilities the campus had to offer and things started to fall in place. I managed to find my feet in the Java module and went to on complete the training successfully. I was getting sick of the routine at Mysore and was waiting to grab a posting at a desired location and move on.

Scene shifts to Bangalore, Electronics city, Infosys, Home, 2006

My first project at Bangalore turned out to be a nightmare...churning out endless weekend shifts and night outs for 3 months on the trot. And at the end of 3 months I got the welcome break. That's probably the first time when the crisis hit me. I started thinking about my shelved dream for an MBA. I traced the steps that any CAT aspirant would do.......enrolled for mock cats, revise quant, practice DI case lets.

The 6 month ordeal ended in March'07 when I realized that it's another torturous year ahead in Infy before I take the exit route. Focus shifted to MBA'08 and all steps turned in that direction. Classes, mock cats, absence at work...all followed and on the other hand the US visa was waiting for me at work. But I was undeterred, constantly reminding myself that MBA is my destination.

It took 2 calls and an equal no: of interviews to deliver judgment that I didn't make the cut. There were quite a good no: colleges that decided that 98.5 was not worth looking at in comparison to a 98.7! Cant blame the colleges though, they had to apply the filter somewhere.
I had hit the roadblock....or so I thought!

The last 2 years...........cost me time and loads of money. Of course I learnt a few things too! There are certain advantages of having played a sport.....you learn to shrug off your defeats and look forward to the next game. Well playing cricket in my early days has paid off !!

At around the same time Dallas came calling and my focus shifted in that direction and it helped me take my mind out of the minor setback. I landed in Dallas, USA on May 10th to kick start another phase in my life. I must confess that USA was never on my mind and I cried the night I boarded the flight for having left behind a goal I set for myself.

It's been 2 months in Sam's club and again I can see the crisis haunting me. I am faced with lots of questions and each time I end up with a different answer! At times I feel it's best to stop thinking and live the moment. And for that, I guess sports works best, it's ideal to shut out the thoughts and sweat it out. I am glad dad instilled some interest in games during my early days.

Sports is my way of dealing with the crisis........not solving it. Have you found your way?